Money, Money, Money

I’m awful with cash. And for once I am saying this at the point where it’s not because I like a good shopping spree and am compulsive to a few impulsive purchases here and there but from the point of view that I always manage to lose it, even if I don’t recall it passing through my hands. Today I bought a notebook so that I could doodle and write things on a train journey that otherwise would have been me just staring out of a window for an hour and a half. I paid at the self-service machines and collected my things and then boarded the train. It was only when I was halfway between Cambridge and London that I realised I forgot to pick up the change. In my head I’m going to pretend I left it there on purpose so that someone who might need an extra £7.35 in their life right now might come across it. But it did make me realise just how much I lose money. 

When I was seventeen I paid for my lunch at another self-service machine and walked away from the store having not picked up £15 that was meant to pay for lunch for a week. Luckily I remembered in the super-market car park and the person after me was nice enough to come and find me to give back my cash. Faith in humanity restored! 

When I was fourteen my sister and I were Christmas shopping and I had all the money in my purse. We had only bought one gift so far so there was a fair bit of wonga left in it. I left the purse in Bosyshop and I only realised when we went to pay for something else. “Vie!” I said “I lost the money.” There was panic. my purse, being 14 years old had no ID in it, it was just cash. Anyone could have found it and kept it. We split up in search of the purse. Vie was the one that found it in Bosyshop. It took longer to then find each other as neither of us had our phone with us. 

When my sister Mellie was just born I got a phone call from Ian while I was in BHS. In frantics to get home to get to the hospital we left the shop and I forgot where I put my money. There was a period of time when I thought I left it in the shop but a week later I found it in the jumper pocket I was wearing on that day. Well done, Phie. 

When I was in primary school my family and I went to the Grand National and my granddad put a bet on a horse I had picked out. The odds were low but for a while the horse was winning and my grandad and I were going to win £1200 we were going ballistic, I was thinking about all the Bratz dolls I could get from Hamleys with such money. But the horse fell over. The horse lost so we lost the money (I’m just glad it got up and didn’t get shot though). 

When I was around nine years old I was going up a huge slide on the beach and a £20 note flew and rested in front of me. I saw it and tried to get it by stamping on it, but a gust of wind blew it and I wistfully watched it blow over the edge and slowly into the sea. The money wasn’t mine, so it wasn’t that sad, but the poor person who lost it was probably even more gutted than me. Unless it was, per chance, Bill Gates. Bill gates wouldn’t care if he dropped the entire contents of his wallet into the sea. 

There have been plenty of times I’ve lost money, everyone does it, I’m sure. There is still £40 wandering around the house somewhere that I never found, and all the pennies that I’ve dropped but haven’t bothered to pick up again probably add up over nineteen years. Thank goodness credit cards exist! 


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